Consent is defined as permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. And synonyms Consent: agreement, assent, acceptance, approval, authorization, permission; informal: go-ahead, thumbs up, green light, OK.
Body Ownership or Self-Ownership (self-rights to your body or sovereignty of the individual, individual sovereignty or individual autonomy) and similar to Property of or in the Person.
A mother I know had the conversation with her son after me and her talked about self-ownership and consent and she said it went very well. She told me she would be talking to her 8-year-old son and it will be a lesson in consent. She said she was going to use hugs as an example for consent. She planned to tell him that not everyone wants to be hugged, so it’s a good idea to make sure it’s ok. Someone may have been ok with you hugging them yesterday, but doesn’t want you to hug them today. THAT’S OK! ITS THEIR BODY! Also, if someone hugs a lot of people, they are NOT obligated to hug everyone. That is also ok. If you ask someone if it’s ok to hug them and if they say I don’t know, treat that as a no. They may be worried about what you think if they say no. It’s about respect people’s rights to their bodies. Touch is a personal matter and shouldn’t be taken personally. Not wanting to be hugged doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you and don’t want to be your friend. And don’t forget, you have all these same rights to your body as well. She wanted to keep this discussion gender neutral as rape isn’t only a problem being faced by women. She was hoping this conversation paves the way for a few years down the road when it’s about sex. This is our contribution to a better future by raising one more person to not have any grey area on consent.
After talking to me she had a talk with her son. She combined my examples of explaining consent with hers and thus used the words consent and body ownership when she spoke with him. through body or self-ownership like home ownership; even if you have been to someone’s house 100 times you still have to knock on the door and wait for then to let you in if they wish (give consent to come inside) and you are allowed in with a tentative consent as likely you are not able to just move in without further consent and even then it’s a limited consent and likely comes with some of limits rooms or spaces not a universal consent. She added my explanation with hers and used the words consent and body ownership when she spoke with him. As I advised, she didn’t use any language that indicated the discussion applying to one gender over another. At the end I asked him if he had any questions. He said no. So she gave a few scenarios and asked what he should do or if what an occurred in each scenario was ok. He did very well. She said she was glad she engaged him further in the discussion even after he said he had no questions. It was a great way for her to gauge his comprehension.
Why she felt a need to talk to him was in light of the recent controversy about the swimmer who raped the unconscious woman, and most especially there are some people victim blaming. And there have been a lot of eye-rolls when people say things like instead of blaming the victim for what she was wearing/saying/doing/alcohol consumption, how about we just teach boys not to rape. Well what happened was matter of first-order moral principles violation of “Consent” in general and disrespect for “Body Ownership” of the unconscious woman and specifically Sexual Ethics violation rape sex without consent or against consent.
She told me what she wants is for this message to get out to parents. What would be really cool is after putting the piece out there, we could post it again no less than a month later, but with the addition of people’s success stories and updates on how my son has applied the concept to his behavior and interactions with others, possibly even share it in discussions he has with other kids. She also is hoping it helps people to understand that children can be taught this easily and comfortably. She told me home a family of allies: supporting equal civil rights, gender equality, LGBT social movements, and challenging homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and intersexphobia. She had provisory talked to him about never bullying and standing up for others being bullied. He told her his teacher last year said that two men or two women can’t get married. My friend was pissed because it was the previous summer when two men or two women getting married became legal in all 50 states. Not to mention it was a hateful seed to plant in the minds of 1st graders! So my friend used it as an opportunity to teach her son that just because someone is in a position of power, doesn’t mean they are always right. If something strikes you as wrong, then it probably is, so it’s ok to question it. I agreed authority is a position not a universal fact, it must be justified and just. I told her she is doing great and is an amazing mother, we need more people like her. Having some concern to discourage her son from being a class disruption she told him that for now he needs to talk about it with her first. If they together think his teacher is ever wrong, then we can talk with them together.
All unconsent especially violations to sexual consent should not only be criticize we should teach consent thus to me we also should teach Body Ownership or Self-Ownership (self-rights to your body or sovereignty of the individual, individual sovereignty or individual autonomy).
—-Teaching consent, well there is formal and informal consent.
*What is formal consent?
Formal consent or Informed Consent is the requirement of informed consent in professional practice, the doctrine of informed consent rose to dominance during the course of the 20th century. Informed consent is shorthand for informed, voluntary, and decisionally-capacitated consent. It replaced a medical ethos founded on trust in physicians’ decisions—often on the assumption that “doctor knows best”—with an ethos that sought to put patients in charge of their own care. In English, “consent” has several meanings but in the relevant sense, consent transactions have a distinct structure: person A consents to B’s engagement for a time on A’s body or owned self, under a certain description of A’s body or owned self, whether or not the offer was initiated by B. For example, a person “A” may consent to a physician “B” touching their genitals as part of a physical exam, but this limited consent is not and cannot be thought to as universal entitled consent such as if consent is given for a breast exam this not a free-for-all consent to then touch the woman’s vagina or rectum. Just like if consent is given for a tactical exam this not a free-for-all consent to then touch the man’s penis or rectum. Unconsented touch is bodily trespass an action that in itself is wrongful in respect of its being a violation of autonomy of another and that the class of such actions violates Body Ownership or Self-Ownership and the right to consent that comes with them. There must be a better understanding of how we all own our own bodies and how we are the only sovereign owner to allow consent personal autonomy.
*What is in formal consent?
Consent is an agreement between participants to usually to engage in sexual activity sometimes in close romantic relationships there is what is called “presumed consent” though this is only tentative by an agreed loose consent dependent on the people, place and time, etc. There are many ways to give consent, and consent doesn’t have to be verbal, but verbally agreeing to different sexual activities can help both you and your partner respect each other’s boundaries. Consent in sexual interactions have a distinct structure: person A consents to B’s engagement for a time on A’s body or owned self, under a certain description of A’s body or owned self, whether or not the offer was initiated by B. For example, a person “A” may consent to kissing “B” but this is not a free-for-all consent allowing touching her genitals as the consent is for kissing and while some mistake this as a universal sexual consent, this is a limited consent and cannot be thought to as universal entitled consent as in you must ask if your partner is in the mood for sex, one should ask for and be given consent each and every time sex is desired, unless given consent otherwise. As people own themselves, thus have all rights to their body to use as they wish. Moreover, this sexual consent is not a universal ok for any and all in any way sexual consent unless stated so, such as if consent is given for a breast exam this not a free-for-all consent to then touch the woman’s vagina or rectum. Just like if consent is given for a tactical exam this not a free-for-all consent to then touch the man’s penis or rectum. I wish to remind people that NO one is required to be sexual with anyone regardless of how nice you are, how close you are as friends, on a date, or if you’re romantically together, etc. I always strive to respect the body ownership of others including their right to use sexual consent when, how and with whom they wish and there is no external entitlement nor obligation owed or owned by anyone else then the person themselves.
—–Teaching Body Ownership or Self-Ownership
*What is Self-Ownership?
Self–ownership (or sovereignty of the individual, individual sovereignty or individual autonomy) is the concept of property in one’s own person, expressed as the moral or natural right of a person to have bodily integrity, and be the exclusive controller of his own body and life. In a general sense the concept of rights means that an individual, and by extension all people in society are justified in rejecting force agent themselves or using force to defend themselves or others in certain circumstances from human rights violations, “self-ownership violations” meaning “the individual owns themselves and thus has rights to their body and what interacts with it or how it is use (self-governed body).” This is something that very few people would dispute, and thus the concept of human rights or self-ownership basically highlights the thinking connected to ones right to life as well as how that life is used. “Self-ownership” can thus be interpreted as meaning: we have individual body sovereignty, we have moral legitimacy to our rights in our bodies and our liberty s connected to this understanding, we are the only ones who (should) have control over ourselves, we are self-ownership agents on equal standing with every other self-ownership agent in society. Therefore, “Self-ownership” is the capacity to live wholly in accordance with the full and free exercise of our private judgment about and to our body. Ref
“Self-ownership” can be thought of as a person’s self-management and can thus be interpreted as supported under: Civil liberties “sovereignty of the individual”.
Civil liberties are personal guarantees and freedoms that the government cannot abridge, either by law or by judicial interpretation without due process. Though the scope of the term differs amongst various countries, some examples of civil liberties include the freedom from torture, freedom from forced disappearance, freedom of conscience, freedom of press, freedom of religion, freedom of expression, freedom of assembly, the right to security and liberty, freedom of speech, the right to privacy, the right to equal treatment under the law and due process, the right to a fair trial, and the right to life. Other civil liberties include the right to own property, the right to defend oneself, and the right to bodily integrity. In America we not only have Bill of Rights a collective name for amendments to the United States Constitution states have a constitution such as a bill of rights, or similar constitutional documents that enumerate and seek to guarantee civil liberties. Likewise, there is the European Convention on Human Rights and the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights. The Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution (abolished slavery and involuntary servitude) is sometimes viewed as an implementation of the concept of self-ownership, as are some portions of the Bill of Rights. “Self-ownership” can be thought of as involving a person’s bodily integrity which is the inviolability of the physical body and emphasizes the importance of personal autonomy and the self-determination of human beings over their own bodies. It considers the violation of bodily integrity as an unethical infringement.
For more reading check out the following links:
Teaching Consent Without Sex: http://www.wcsap.org/teaching-consent-without-sex
We Can Teach Kids About Consent Without Bringing Sex into the Conversation: https://rewire.news/article/2015/04/09/can-teach-kids-consent-without-bringing-sex-conversation/
This Is How You Teach Kids About Consent: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/good-men-project/this-is-how-you-teach-kids-about-consent_b_10360296.html
Healthy Sex Talk Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21: http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/03/teaching-kids-consent-ages-1-21/
Sex Ed Lesson ‘Yes Means Yes,’ but It’s Tricky:
What If We Treated All Consent Like Society Treats Sexual Consent:
Self-ownership: Abortion, Genital Mutilation, Prostitution, Drugs, and the Right to Die: http://damienmarieathope.com/2016/02/28/self-ownership-abortion-genital-mutilation-prostitution-drugs-and-the-right-to-die/