Manusmriti (5.148) – In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent.
Manusmrti (9:2-4) – Men must make their women dependent day and night, and keep under their own control those who are attached to sensory objects. A woman is not fit for independence.
Rig Veda (8.33.33-34) – The mind of woman cannot be disciplined; she has very little intelligence.
#1. In Tamil brahmin weddings, there is a custom where the groom pretends that he is going to Kasi to complete his spiritual journey. The bride’s father pleads the groom not to leave the bride and states the difference between the marital life and ascetic one. Source
#2. In Maharashtrian weddings, the bride’s parents wash the groom’s feet, but make the bride herself wash his feet first. Source
#3. In Bengali marriages, the haldi (turmeric paste) the groom’s family uses for the bride, is the same paste used by the groom or a paste that has touched the groom’s body.
#4. In many parts of north and west India, the bride is supposed to change her first, as well as her last name post marriage. Source
#5. If the bride is manglik, she needs to marry apeepal tree, pot or a dog first. People believe that marrying a manglik woman results in the early death of the husband, but there is no such custom for the groom if he is manglik. Source
#6. In Bihari weddings, once the bride enters the groom’s house, the mother-in-law places a pot on her head and she continues to touch the feet of the elders and do other chores with the pot on. However, after every 5 minutes, they add one pot to her head. The bride should be careful enough not to let the pots fall off and must carry on with the ritual. Source
#7. In Rabha weddings in Assam, the bride has to to cook food from the very first day and the food is only for the male members of the family. For women, cooks or the helpers in the house prepare food separately. Source
#8. Newly wed brides are expected to wear jewellery like mangalsutra, bangles (a lot of them), toe rings, etc. for a long time. This is present across many cultures. Many times, the amount of jewellery that they wear can be a hindrance. Example: in north-Indian weddings the bride wears a set of heavy bangles called chooda. Many of the bangles in this set are made of ivory, which is very heavy. Source
#9. In Maharashtrian weddings, the bride and the groom’s mother are not present during the mangalshtaka, custom of reciting verses. However, the father of both the bride and the groom are present. Similar is the case in Bengali weddings, but only the bride’s mother is not present. Source
#10. In some Bengali weddings, the bride is made to sit under the elbow of the groom and water is then passed from his elbow on to her. Source
#11. Kanyadaan, literally means giving the daughter away as charity. According to the old Hindu traditions, it means ‘the gift of virginity’. Not only does it emphasise on giving the daughter away as charity, but it is done only by the bride’s father. If the father is not present, then the responsibility goes to any male member of the family. It is never done by the mother. Source
#12. Another Bengali wedding tradition is bou bhaat (meaning bride food), which includes her serving food to guests and her new husband, and then eating the leftovers from his plate. Source
#13. The bride’s family funds the entire wedding. This is present in almost every wedding in the country. The cost incurred is usually humongous. However, today there is a ray of hope, where both the bride’s and the groom’s family split the expenses. Source
#14. Even though dowry is illegal in India, in many cultures the bride’s family is forced to gift apartments, cars, expensive jewelry, etc. to the groom and his family.
10 Sexist Indian Marriage Customs
1. Kanyadaan
“A tradition in all Indian weddings without which the wedding is incomplete. The very name Kanyadaan is made up of 2 words: Kanya and Daan. While if taken literally, it means giving the daughter away, according to old Hindu traditions, it means the “gift of virginity” or “gifting a maiden”. Yeah, well. It is an age-old tradition and there are many reasons as to why it was brought into existence. One of the most popular ones is that the scriptures stipulated that the eldest son or the ‘son’ of the family was supposed to light the funeral pyre of his parents to absolve them of sins and pass on happily into the afterlife. The patriarchal Hindu society began to thus revere boys and condemn daughters. To salvage the situation, Hindu priests then created the concept of Kanyadaan wherein they said that giving the daughter away was one of the highest honors as it too absolves the parents of sin. After the ritual, the “duty” of the daughter is passed on from the parents to the groom and she is now his liability. Also, it is always a ‘kanya‘ daan and not a ‘stree‘ daan which implied that only virgins were allowed to have the honor of absolving the sins of their parents. While it might have been sensible in ancient times, the treatment of women as property is incorrect in every way. Some traditions are better left buried with time and the tradition of Kanyadaan is one such. Just because the daughter marries off, it does not mean she now has no ties with her family. She has lived in the womb of a woman for 9 months. No ritual on Earth can ever break that bond. Another problem with Kanyadaan is that it is only the father who is allowed to give away the daughter. If the father is absent, another male relative has the honor. The mother is not in the picture at all. If not the tradition itself, even the steps associated with the ritual are chauvinist.” Ref
2. Kashiyatra
“A popular tradition in South India, Kashi Yatra is today treated as more of a fun event. And yet, it is an inseparable part of Tamil weddings. According to the ritual, the groom gets up from the wedding and refuses to marry the bride, saying he wants to give up worldly pleasures and complete his religious studies. He carries an umbrella, a walking stick and a towel containing lentils (dal) and rice. As he commences this mock pilgrimage, the bride’s father stops him and pleads with them. He then tells the groom the benefits of married life versus ascetic life. He promises his daughter to him and that she will aid him through the ups and downs of life. The groom then returns to the wedding and the wedding continues. Seems innocent and fun. But then, the question arises in the modern world, why is only the groom allowed to embark on a Kashiyatra? Why can’t the bride want to study further and decide to get up and leave the marriage hall with her mother-in-law tagging behind her, begging her not to leave the groom? Why is it treated as ambitious only for the groom. In modern days, the bride’s life will definitely not end if the groom decides to get up and leave. Rather, she might just decide to move on in life and get much ahead of the groom in education and career.” Ref
3. Feet Washing
“This is a very common tradition across different cultures in India. While some have the tradition where the bride’s parents wash the groom’s feet, others make the bride herself wash his feet. While in earlier days, the tradition made some sense as grooms generally walked barefoot from one village to another for the wedding, in modern days with cars replacing feet and even horses, this tradition is outdated. In Assamese tradition, it is the bride’s sister who washes the groom’s feet. It only seems insulting to get two adults, as old as the groom’s own parents and deserving the same amount of respect, to wash the feet of the groom. Neither is the groom forced to walk barefoot anymore nor does he have to travel long distances. Offering water or refreshing beverages makes sense but making the parents wash his feet is just plain humiliating.” Ref
4. Haldi for the bride
“The tradition of haldi is a beautiful one where a paste of turmeric and other spices is applied on the bodies of the bride and the groom by relatives and friends to cleanse their skin and help them grow. The entire tradition is fun and a time of great bonding for the bride with her family. It also cherishes some of her last moments with her family as an unmarried woman. However, in certain regions, the bridal haldi ceremony can get weird. In Bengali tradition for the pre-wedding haldi, the turmeric paste carried by the groom’s family for the bride is the same paste used by the groom or a paste that has touched the groom’s body. Leaving the sexist aspect aside, we really wonder how hygienic this tradition is. While it is not practiced in many urban areas or among literate people (the groom just touches the haldi with his hand before it is sent to the bride), the custom is followed in rural areas. In some Bengali traditions, the bride is made to sit under the elbow of the groom and water is then passed from his elbow on to her. While this tradition is not exactly the haldi tradition and happens after the wedding, turmeric paste is often applied to both to ward off the evil eye.” Ref
5. Name change – first name
“This is a tradition peculiar to North India and parts of the West where the bride changes her first name as well as her last name post marriage. The new first name is calculated on her and her husband’s combined astrological chart and the last name is the same as her husband’s last name. Also, the bride alters her middle name from that of her father’s name to her husband’s name. The practice is common not just in rural areas but even in urban areas. While a lot of women now retain their last names and add their husband’s surname too, the tradition of making the bride change her first name is wrong. A name is quite a person’s identity and making them change it is akin to stripping the complete identity away.” Ref
6. Marrying a peepul tree/dog.
“In a crazy Indian wedding custom, if the bride is Manglik, she is made to first marry a Peepal tree or a dog. It is believed that marrying a Manglik woman results in the early death of the husband. Hence, the woman is first married to a tree or an animal to ward off the evil effects of the curse on her human husband. The husband has no such traditions to fulfill if he is Manglik. A simple religious ceremony resolves the issue. Most Indians believe in astrology and all Hindu rituals are based on astrological charts. Even the wedding is held on an auspicious day according to the positions of the stars. However, while it is acceptable to believe in parts of astrology, such traditions are plain “stupidstition” and blind faith. It insults the woman and are demeaning to say the least.” Ref
7. Pot Balancing
“In a strange custom in Bihar, once the bride enters the groom’s house, the mother-in-law places a pot on her head. She then continues to touch the feet of the elders and do other chores with the pot on. After every 5 minutes, another pot is added to her head. The bride must not let the pots fall off and must carry on with the rituals with all the pots perfectly balanced. This ritual is supposed to help the bride achieve the perfect balance and harmony between her duties and her family members as a wife. While played in fun in recent years, during the earlier days, if the bride couldn’t balance the pots, she faced much ridicule and wrath from her in-laws. All this, just after she sets foot in the house!” Ref
8. Mother banned from the wedding.
“As strange as it sounds, in Bengali weddings, the bride’s mother is not allowed to see the wedding. It is believed that the mother witnessing the wedding will bring harm on her daughter. Or the mother possesses the evil eye to harm her daughter’s marriage. We have nothing to say on just how wrong and terrible this tradition seems!” Ref
9. Food only for the males.
“In Rabha weddings in Assam, the bride is expected to cook a complete luncheon on her first day. While in most other religions, the bride is expected to only cook sweets on the first day and then rest till her ‘mehendi‘ wears off, this tribe makes the bride work right from day one. While cooking a meal is considered one of the duties of a new bride and is not surprising, what is the fact that the meal cannot be eaten by all family members. The meal cooked by the bride is only for the male members of the family. For the womenfolk, food is prepared separately by the cooks or the helpers in the house. A pretty sexist tradition where the bride herself is not allowed to sample the feast she is expected to cook on day one of entering the house!” Ref
10. Mangalsutra and bangles.
“While western countries have the wedding band to signify marriage, in India the bride is expected to wear a Mangalsutra (in Western and Northern regions) or Thaali (in South India) post marriage. In most traditions, the brides are expected to wear bangles as a sign of marriage. Some traditions also have the bride sporting toe-rings. Each of these ornaments are to be worn and never removed. However, the groom is not made to sport any rings or bracelets, or chains. He continues life as usual. The wearing of ornaments is not considered a burden by most women but the unfairness in making a woman sport these as signs of her marriage, unlike men, is galling.” Ref
Sati, or self-immolation by widows, was prevalent in Hindu society until the early 19th century.
“Sati or suttee is a historical Hindu practice in which a widow sacrificed herself by sitting atop her deceased husband’s funeral pyre. Possibly originating as a symbolic practice in Indo-European culture and religion. Greek sources from around 300 BCE make isolated mention of sati, but it probably developed into a real fire sacrifice within the northwestern Rajput Kshatriya (warrior) varna, to which it remained limited, and became regular only after 500 CE, to become wider-spread during the Muslim-era.” ref
“Governor-General of India Lord William Bentinck enacted the Bengal Sati Regulation or Regulation XVII in 1829, declaring the practice of burning or burying alive of Hindu widows both voluntary and involuntary to be punishable by the criminal courts. The ban which was extended to whole country is credited with bringing an end of the practice of Sati in India. It was first major social reform legislation done by the British in India. The most prominent campaigners to end the practice of sati were led by British Christian evangelists, such as William Carey, and Hindu reformers such as Ram Mohan Roy.” ref
“The opposition came from some conservative Hindus led by Radhakanta Deb and the Dharma Sabha who saw the ban as an interference in Hindu religious affairs and violation of George III‘s Statute 37. This statute had assured Hindus complete non-interference with their religion. This resulted in a challenge to the decision to ban Sati in the Privy Council but the ban was upheld with four out of the 7 privy councillors supporting the ban.” ref
“These were followed up with other legislation, countering what the British perceived to be interrelated issues involving violence against Hindu women, including: Hindu Widows’ Remarriage Act, 1856, Female Infanticide Prevention Act, 1870, and Age of Consent Act, 1891. Isolated incidents of sati were recorded in India in the late 20th century, leading the Indian government to promulgate the Sati (Prevention) Act, 1987, criminalising the aiding or glorifying of sati.” ref
“Sati (Sanskrit: सती / satī) is derived from the name of the goddess Sati, who self-immolated because she was unable to bear her father Daksha‘s humiliation of her and her husband Shiva. The term sati was originally interpreted as “chaste woman”. Sati appears in Hindi and Sanskrit texts, where it is synonymous with “good wife”; the term suttee was commonly used by Anglo-Indian English writers.” ref
Sati designates therefore originally the woman, rather than the rite. Variants are:
- Sativrata, an uncommon and seldom used term, denotes the woman who makes a vow, vrata, to protect her husband while he is alive and then die with her husband.
- Satimata denotes a venerated widow who committed sati.” ref
The rite itself had technical names:
- Sahagamana (“going with”) or sahamarana (“dying with”).
- Anvarohana (“ascension” to the pyre) is occasionally met, as well as satidaha as terms to designate the process.
- Satipratha is also, on occasion, used as a term signifying the custom of burning widows alive.” ref
Rape, Sexism and Religion?
Sexism is that evil weed that can sadly grow even in the well tended garden of the individual with an otherwise developed mind. Which is why it particularly needs to be attacked and exposed; and is why I support feminism.
Sexism in the Major World Religions
While hallucinogens are associated with shamanism, it is alcohol that is associated with paganism.
The Atheist-Humanist-Leftist Revolutionaries Shows in the prehistory series:
Show two: Pre-animism 300,000 years old and animism 100,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show tree: Totemism 50,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show four: Shamanism 30,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show five: Paganism 12,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show six: Emergence of hierarchy, sexism, slavery, and the new male god dominance: Paganism 7,000-5,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Capitalism) (World War 0) Elite and their slaves!
Prehistory: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” the division of labor, power, rights, and recourses: VIDEO
Pre-animism 300,000 years old and animism 100,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”: VIDEO
Totemism 50,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”: VIDEO
Shamanism 30,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”: VIDEO
Paganism 12,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Pre-Capitalism): VIDEO
Paganism 7,000-5,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Capitalism) (World War 0) Elite and their slaves: VIEDO
Paganism 5,000 years old: progressed organized religion and the state: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Kings and the Rise of the State): VIEDO
Paganism 4,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (First Moralistic gods, then the Origin time of Monotheism): VIEDO
I do not hate simply because I challenge and expose myths or lies any more than others being thought of as loving simply because of the protection and hiding from challenge their favored myths or lies.
The truth is best championed in the sunlight of challenge.
An archaeologist once said to me “Damien religion and culture are very different”
My response, So are you saying that was always that way, such as would you say Native Americans’ cultures are separate from their religions? And do you think it always was the way you believe?
I had said that religion was a cultural product. That is still how I see it and there are other archaeologists that think close to me as well. Gods too are the myths of cultures that did not understand science or the world around them, seeing magic/supernatural everywhere.
I personally think there is a goddess and not enough evidence to support a male god at Çatalhöyük but if there was both a male and female god and goddess then I know the kind of gods they were like Proto-Indo-European mythology.
This series idea was addressed in, Anarchist Teaching as Free Public Education or Free Education in the Public: VIDEO
Our 12 video series: Organized Oppression: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of power (9,000-4,000 years ago), is adapted from: The Complete and Concise History of the Sumerians and Early Bronze Age Mesopotamia (7000-2000 BC): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szFjxmY7jQA by “History with Cy“
Show #1: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Samarra, Halaf, Ubaid)
Show #2: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power
Show #3: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Uruk and the First Cities)
Show #4: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (First Kings)
Show #5: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Early Dynastic Period)
Show #6: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power
Show #7: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Sargon and Akkadian Rule)
Show #9: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Gudea of Lagash and Utu-hegal)
Show #12: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Aftermath and Legacy of Sumer)
The “Atheist-Humanist-Leftist Revolutionaries”
Cory Johnston ☭ Ⓐ Atheist Leftist @Skepticallefty & I (Damien Marie AtHope) @AthopeMarie (my YouTube & related blog) are working jointly in atheist, antitheist, antireligionist, antifascist, anarchist, socialist, and humanist endeavors in our videos together, generally, every other Saturday.
Why Does Power Bring Responsibility?
Think, how often is it the powerless that start wars, oppress others, or commit genocide? So, I guess the question is to us all, to ask, how can power not carry responsibility in a humanity concept? I know I see the deep ethical responsibility that if there is power their must be a humanistic responsibility of ethical and empathic stewardship of that power. Will I be brave enough to be kind? Will I possess enough courage to be compassionate? Will my valor reach its height of empathy? I as everyone, earns our justified respect by our actions, that are good, ethical, just, protecting, and kind. Do I have enough self-respect to put my love for humanity’s flushing, over being brought down by some of its bad actors? May we all be the ones doing good actions in the world, to help human flourishing.
I create the world I want to live in, striving for flourishing. Which is not a place but a positive potential involvement and promotion; a life of humanist goal precision. To master oneself, also means mastering positive prosocial behaviors needed for human flourishing. I may have lost a god myth as an atheist, but I am happy to tell you, my friend, it is exactly because of that, leaving the mental terrorizer, god belief, that I truly regained my connected ethical as well as kind humanity.
Cory and I will talk about prehistory and theism, addressing the relevance to atheism, anarchism, and socialism.
At the same time as the rise of the male god, 7,000 years ago, there was also the very time there was the rise of violence, war, and clans to kingdoms, then empires, then states. It is all connected back to 7,000 years ago, and it moved across the world.
Cory Johnston: https://damienmarieathope.com/2021/04/cory-johnston-mind-of-a-skeptical-leftist/?v=32aec8db952d
The Mind of a Skeptical Leftist (YouTube)
Cory Johnston: Mind of a Skeptical Leftist @Skepticallefty
The Mind of a Skeptical Leftist By Cory Johnston: “Promoting critical thinking, social justice, and left-wing politics by covering current events and talking to a variety of people. Cory Johnston has been thoughtfully talking to people and attempting to promote critical thinking, social justice, and left-wing politics.” http://anchor.fm/skepticalleft
Cory needs our support. We rise by helping each other.
Cory Johnston ☭ Ⓐ @Skepticallefty Evidence-based atheist leftist (he/him) Producer, host, and co-host of 4 podcasts @skeptarchy @skpoliticspod and @AthopeMarie
Damien Marie AtHope (“At Hope”) Axiological Atheist, Anti-theist, Anti-religionist, Secular Humanist. Rationalist, Writer, Artist, Poet, Philosopher, Advocate, Activist, Psychology, and Armchair Archaeology/Anthropology/Historian.
Damien is interested in: Freedom, Liberty, Justice, Equality, Ethics, Humanism, Science, Atheism, Antiteism, Antireligionism, Ignosticism, Left-Libertarianism, Anarchism, Socialism, Mutualism, Axiology, Metaphysics, LGBTQI, Philosophy, Advocacy, Activism, Mental Health, Psychology, Archaeology, Social Work, Sexual Rights, Marriage Rights, Woman’s Rights, Gender Rights, Child Rights, Secular Rights, Race Equality, Ageism/Disability Equality, Etc. And a far-leftist, “Anarcho-Humanist.”
I am not a good fit in the atheist movement that is mostly pro-capitalist, I am anti-capitalist. Mostly pro-skeptic, I am a rationalist not valuing skepticism. Mostly pro-agnostic, I am anti-agnostic. Mostly limited to anti-Abrahamic religions, I am an anti-religionist.
To me, the “male god” seems to have either emerged or become prominent around 7,000 years ago, whereas the now favored monotheism “male god” is more like 4,000 years ago or so. To me, the “female goddess” seems to have either emerged or become prominent around 11,000-10,000 years ago or so, losing the majority of its once prominence around 2,000 years ago due largely to the now favored monotheism “male god” that grow in prominence after 4,000 years ago or so.
My Thought on the Evolution of Gods?
Animal protector deities from old totems/spirit animal beliefs come first to me, 13,000/12,000 years ago, then women as deities 11,000/10,000 years ago, then male gods around 7,000/8,000 years ago. Moralistic gods around 5,000/4,000 years ago, and monotheistic gods around 4,000/3,000 years ago.
To me, animal gods were likely first related to totemism animals around 13,000 to 12,000 years ago or older. Female as goddesses was next to me, 11,000 to 10,000 years ago or so with the emergence of agriculture. Then male gods come about 8,000 to 7,000 years ago with clan wars. Many monotheism-themed religions started in henotheism, emerging out of polytheism/paganism.
Damien Marie AtHope (Said as “At” “Hope”)/(Autodidact Polymath but not good at math):
Axiological Atheist, Anti-theist, Anti-religionist, Secular Humanist, Rationalist, Writer, Artist, Jeweler, Poet, “autodidact” Philosopher, schooled in Psychology, and “autodidact” Armchair Archaeology/Anthropology/Pre-Historian (Knowledgeable in the range of: 1 million to 5,000/4,000 years ago). I am an anarchist socialist politically. Reasons for or Types of Atheism
My Website, My Blog, & Short-writing or Quotes, My YouTube, Twitter: @AthopeMarie, and My Email: damien.marie.athope@gmail.com