I have not drunk Alcohol since January 24, 1989.
I was in AA for 18 years and once I turned atheist a little after that I stopped going as I see it as a religion-like. I stayed clean from my crack and other hard drugs. However, I started taking medical marijuana for my nerve damage in my right foot and ankle and back pain (from a big rig accident I had at work driving 18 wheelers over the road driving across the country) starting around 2015 but still do not drink and during my last surgery on my ankle removing severe scar tissue and bad bone spurs, I was given opioids that I did not take as I still desire to be free of hard drugs and alcohol from my life as much as possible. As I already had medical marijuana, so I was able to not have to move up to opium, which I was before also addicted to. I don’t go to any meetings, of any type for addiction self-help now, but here are some secular or non-12-step self-help groups available to the public and if others need them I support doing what is right for you.
Moderation Management: http://www.moderation.org/
LifeRing Secular Recovery: http://lifering.org/
SMART Recovery: Self Management Recovery Training: http://www.smartrecovery.org/
S.K.I.P. Sobriety – Knowledge is Power: https://www.sites.google.com/site/skipnetdotorg/
“SOS” Secular Organizations for Sobriety: http://www.sossobriety.org/
Rational Recovery: https://rational.org/index.php?id=1
Women For Sobriety: http://www.womenforsobriety.org/beta2/
WAAFT (We Agnostics, Atheists and Freethinkers in AA): http://www.waaft.org/
My Addiction
I have had a full life that started with many hardships and poor choices where I was finally faced with a choice to either change and live or stay the same and die. I am alive and thriving do to the choice of life and change I not only made so long ago but for the vigilance to improve and change I hold dear every day. Now in my life though struggles never truly go away I have had many triumphs and accomplishments to light my way. Now I am creating a bright future, riding my success, and living my dreams.
I conquered drug and alcohol addiction as well as aggressive antisocial behavior with 12 step programs, counseling, and ethical enlightened thinking. In my life it was a surprise to most that I finished high school and did not end up in prison. I wish to make a difference in others’ lives to give back what was given to me. I wish to bring about change in myself and others.
When My Addiction Started
I was sneaking drinks as far back as I can remember. But conclusively, I would say at the age of 13 was the first time I got shit faced drunk. This would be a new behavior that I would indulge in until my stopping at 17. I first tried marijuana at 14 and excessively added that to my repertoire. By the age of 15, I had tried almost every drug but heroin and had become a crack addict. Cocaine would come and go in my life but what would stay are other drugs and alcohol. Some people have a drug of choice; mine was the sensation of getting high. At 17, I quit all drugs and alcohol on January 24, 1989 and I have been clean and sober to this day.
I have been through drug rehab around 45 days of inpatient as well as attended NA for 2 years and AA for 18 years until I realized that I did not want to follow that religion anymore it gave me a lot but I am no longer struggling with addiction I am trying to live life. I have been to years of individual, group, and marriage counseling, read sober, self-help as well as inspirational books, and worked excessively on myself. I do not believe I have removed my addiction; only found new ways to manage and control my behavior. When it comes to drugs and alcohol, I believe in complete and utter abstinence. I believe there is nothing so bad a drink or drug cannot make worse in my life.
On January 24, 1989 I was admitted in to a addiction rehab against my will I had just withdrawn from drugs and alcohol and I was faced with a barrage of suppressed emotions. Were the emotions good or bad is not the question. These emotions are an honest account of my reality, which was ever changing. I had realized what I had missed of life by suppressing my feelings. For the first time in my life, I started to be willing, listening, and acting on the advice from others. These actions created such intense emotions that I had never experienced before. In the past I had masked my feelings and emotions with a life full of chemicals and anger but now I had to work through things, and I do.
“Held Down”
Boxed in by thoughtlessness.
Held down by ignorance.
But dying by choice!
Addiction an ever present vampire.
I drink and use to live.
Live just to die.
I feel it in my throat.
Choking on the truth, I wipe my brow.
Can we get by the hell, AND, Still keep our innocence?
Well, I carry the weight, Hold on just wait!
I wasted it all, and then was just wasting away.
Crushing power, pulling down.
Just a executioner leading me into a sad life which is like a noose around the throat.
With a gasp of hope I pull free.
I yell, “Not another drink”, “Not another pill”, “There is really no thrill”!
Look deep into my empty eyes, and you will see the kill!
I was drowning in my own addicted wretchedness.
I reached out for something!
With a new help of self,
I clawed out of my bottomless hole of slavery, to a clean and liberated new life.
Now “SOBER”, I am so free.
No longer held down!
THE ORANGE PAPERS: “A series of pages about Substance Misuse Recovery Programs, Real Recovery. and Analysis of Alcoholics Anonymous.”
What is Addiction?
First think what is addictions and how do you know them from similar behaviors deemed not addictions? To me addiction is in general habitual behaviors or thinking that are detrimentally compulsive and interferes with ordinary responsibilities and concerns, such as work, relationships, or health. To me addiction is best understood in as a “Biopsychosocial” Phenomenon.
Roughly 10% of all people who experiment with drugs become addicted. A combination of environmental and genetic factors influence the likelihood of addiction. Environmental risk factors are characteristics in a person’s surroundings that increase their likelihood of becoming addicted to drugs. A person may have many environments, or domains, of influence such as the community, family, school, and friends. Their risk of addiction can develop in any of these domains. Ref
According to the American Psychological Association addiction is a chronic disorder with biological, psychological, social and environmental factors influencing its development and maintenance. About half the risk for addiction is genetic. Genes affect the degree of reward that individuals experience when initially using a substance (e.g., drugs) or engaging in certain behaviors (e.g., gambling), as well as the way the body processes alcohol or other drugs. Heightened desire to re-experience use of the substance or behavior, potentially influenced by psychological (e.g., stress, history of trauma), social (e.g., family or friends’ use of a substance), and environmental factors (e.g., accessibility of a substance, low cost) can lead to regular use/exposure, with chronic use/exposure leading to brain changes. These brain changes include alterations in cortical (pre-frontal cortex) and sub-cortical (limbic system) regions involving the neuro-circuitry of reward, motivation, memory, impulse control and judgment. This can lead to dramatic increases in cravings for a drug or activity, as well as impairments in the ability to successfully regulate this impulse, despite the knowledge and experience of many consequences related to the addictive behavior. – Adapted from the Recovery Research Institute, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School. Ref
Emotional Trauma: An Often Overlooked Root of Addiction.
According to David Sack, M.D. Research Links Addiction and Trauma. A study published in Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research confirmed what many of us in the treatment field have long observed: A history of childhood neglect or sexual, physical or emotional abuse is common among people undergoing treatment for alcoholism and may be a factor in the development of alcohol use disorders. Abuse was also linked to a higher risk of anxiety disorders, depression and suicide. Whereas the general population has physical abuse rates of 8.4 percent, the rate for alcoholics has been reported at 24 percent for men and 33 percent for women. The rate of sexual abuse in the general population hovers around 6 percent, while the rate for alcoholics has been reported at 12 percent for men and 49 percent for women. Rates of childhood emotional abuse and neglect, which are often under-reported, are likely as prevalent among alcoholics as physical and sexual abuse and have similar long-term consequences, including increased rates of depression, anxiety, suicide and behavioral problems later in life. This recent study adds to a large body of research linking addiction and trauma. A study of children who attended school near Ground Zero found that the more trauma-related factors they experienced (such as knowing someone who died or fearing for their life), the more likely they were to use drugs and alcohol. And the link wasn’t subtle: Children with three or more exposure factors were 19 times more likely to increase their use of drugs or alcohol. Trauma has been associated not only with drug addiction but also overeating, compulsive sexual behavior and other types of addictions. The Adverse Childhood Experiences study, which is based on data from over 17,000 Kaiser Permanente patients, found correlations between severe childhood stress (e.g., abuse, neglect, loss of a parent, domestic violence, or having an addicted or mentally ill parent) and various types of addictions. Again, the results left little need for interpretation: A child with four or more adverse childhood experiences is five times more likely to become an alcoholic and 60 percent more likely to become obese, and a boy with four or more of these experiences is 46 times more likely to become an injection drug user than other children. The researchers found that the effects of trauma are cumulative, and that one of the most destructive forms is “chronic recurrent humiliation” (i.e., emotional abuse in the form of name-calling or ridicule). Ref
The Link between PTSD and Substance Abuse/Addiction
About 50-66 percent of those who suffer from PTSD also battle simultaneous addiction, and the reverse is also true, TIME reports. People who suffer from PTSD are between two and four times more likely to also battle addiction than their peers who do not also struggle with PTSD, the journal Clinical Psychology publishes. PTSD is a disorder that will affect about 7-8 out of 100 people in their lifetime, the National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH) reports. PTSD is brought on by the experience of a traumatic or life-threatening event. When a person is in danger, the brain triggers the “fight-or-flight” response. Brain chemicals are altered, and heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, and body temperature are elevated. Focus and attention levels are heightened and adrenaline flows. A person will be wide awake and alert. This can help a person to escape a potentially hazardous situation, and it is a healthy response to danger. When the stress response continues after the danger has passed, and it is no longer necessary to protect a person from harm, the person may have PTSD. PTSD symptoms may occur in as few as three months after the traumatic event (e.g., car accident, victim of a crime, death of a loved one, natural disaster, witness to life-threatening or fatal accident, childhood trauma, etc.) or several years later.
PTSD is diagnosed if the symptoms interfere with daily life and continue for at least a month. Symptoms of PTSD are classified into:
Avoidance: staying away from people, places, or things that are reminders of the event
Re-experiencing: flashbacks, frightening thoughts, or nightmares
Arousal and reactivity: difficulties sleeping, being “on edge,” angry outbursts, or being easily startled
Cognition and mood symptoms: distorted feelings of guilt, negative image of self, memory issues, or loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
Correlation between Stress, Drug Use, and Addiction
Methadone Addiction Substance abuse, addiction, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have a complex relationship that can complicate treatment modalities. High levels of stress can make it more likely for a person to turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. Drugs can increase pleasure, decrease anxiety, and provide a distraction from difficult emotions.
When someone feels stressed, levels of GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) are lowered, and adrenaline is increased. GABA is a kind of natural tranquilizer produced by the brain that can also be stimulated by drugs that suppress the central nervous system, like opioids, marijuana, alcohol, and benzodiazepines. Drugs also increase the presence of dopamine in the brain, one of the brain’s chemical messengers that tells a person to feel happy. When the substances wear off, low moods are common as dopamine levels drop.
With repeated drug use, it will become harder and harder for the brain to keep regulating amounts of dopamine, adrenaline, and GABA normally. Drug cravings and uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms, including anxiety, depression, insomnia, and irritability, can make it more difficult for a person to stop using drugs as dependence sets in. Significant drug dependence and the onset of withdrawal symptoms often lead to a loss of control over drug use, or addiction.
Chronic stress can interfere with a person’s impulse control, learning, and memory functions. Drugs can become a coping mechanism, or a method of self-medication for the symptoms of PTSD and for stress, and regular drug use can interfere with some of the same regions of the brain, and brain chemicals, that high amounts of stress can.
Young brains that are not fully developed may be at a higher risk for developing PTSD as a result of trauma as well as for addiction later in life as the result of early exposure to drug abuse. A stressful environment, biology, and genetics can also play a part in the formation of both disorders. PTSD and drug use commonly co-occur with other mental health disorders, and the Current Psychiatric Reports publishes that influences related to genetics in major depression, panic disorder, addiction, and generalized anxiety share up to 60 percent of the genetic variance seen in PTSD. Parts of the brain that make a person more vulnerable to developing PTSD after a stressful or traumatic event may then be similar to those that may predispose a person to addiction. In addition, chronic stress heightens a person’s vulnerability to addiction and makes them more prone to relapse, the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences reports.
Co-Occurring PTSD and Addiction
Alcohol and drugs may provide a temporary respite from PTSD symptoms and help a person to avoid painful memories associated with trauma. As the drugs wear off, however, levels of stress and PTSD symptoms are often worsened. Drinking or doing drugs can also interfere with decision-making abilities and increase risk-taking behaviors, putting a person at a higher risk for being involved in an accident, being the victim of a crime or violence, or suffering trauma. Thus, substance abuse may contribute to the onset of PTSD just as PTSD symptoms can induce a person to abuse drugs or alcohol for self-medication purposes.
Drug withdrawal symptoms can exacerbate PTSD symptoms, worsening the disorder and making it more difficult to stop using drugs. In a similar fashion, abusing drugs or alcohol as a method of coping with PTSD symptoms delays treatment progress and may make PTSD symptoms last longer, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) warns. Studies of inpatient substance abuse treatment centers have found that half of all of those receiving treatment for addiction also suffered from simultaneous PTSD, the American Psychological Association (APA) reports. Ref
My Recovery from Addiction
I started using marijuana to manage pain and emotions I think 2015 or so.
“Theists, there has to be a god, as something can not come from nothing.”
Well, thus something (unknown) happened and then there was something. This does not tell us what the something that may have been involved with something coming from nothing. A supposed first cause, thus something (unknown) happened and then there was something is not an open invitation to claim it as known, neither is it justified to call or label such an unknown as anything, especially an unsubstantiated magical thinking belief born of mythology and religious storytelling.
While hallucinogens are associated with shamanism, it is alcohol that is associated with paganism.
The Atheist-Humanist-Leftist Revolutionaries Shows in the prehistory series:
Show two: Pre-animism 300,000 years old and animism 100,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show tree: Totemism 50,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show four: Shamanism 30,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show five: Paganism 12,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”
Show six: Emergence of hierarchy, sexism, slavery, and the new male god dominance: Paganism 7,000-5,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Capitalism) (World War 0) Elite and their slaves!
Prehistory: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” the division of labor, power, rights, and recourses: VIDEO
Pre-animism 300,000 years old and animism 100,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”: VIDEO
Totemism 50,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”: VIDEO
Shamanism 30,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism”: VIDEO
Paganism 12,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Pre-Capitalism): VIDEO
Paganism 7,000-5,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Capitalism) (World War 0) Elite and their slaves: VIEDO
Paganism 5,000 years old: progressed organized religion and the state: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (Kings and the Rise of the State): VIEDO
Paganism 4,000 years old: related to “Anarchism and Socialism” (First Moralistic gods, then the Origin time of Monotheism): VIEDO
I do not hate simply because I challenge and expose myths or lies any more than others being thought of as loving simply because of the protection and hiding from challenge their favored myths or lies.
The truth is best championed in the sunlight of challenge.
An archaeologist once said to me “Damien religion and culture are very different”
My response, So are you saying that was always that way, such as would you say Native Americans’ cultures are separate from their religions? And do you think it always was the way you believe?
I had said that religion was a cultural product. That is still how I see it and there are other archaeologists that think close to me as well. Gods too are the myths of cultures that did not understand science or the world around them, seeing magic/supernatural everywhere.
I personally think there is a goddess and not enough evidence to support a male god at Çatalhöyük but if there was both a male and female god and goddess then I know the kind of gods they were like Proto-Indo-European mythology.
This series idea was addressed in, Anarchist Teaching as Free Public Education or Free Education in the Public: VIDEO
Our 12 video series: Organized Oppression: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of power (9,000-4,000 years ago), is adapted from: The Complete and Concise History of the Sumerians and Early Bronze Age Mesopotamia (7000-2000 BC): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szFjxmY7jQA by “History with Cy“
Show #1: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Samarra, Halaf, Ubaid)
Show #2: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power
Show #3: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Uruk and the First Cities)
Show #4: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (First Kings)
Show #5: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Early Dynastic Period)
Show #6: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power
Show #7: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Sargon and Akkadian Rule)
Show #9: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Gudea of Lagash and Utu-hegal)
Show #12: Mesopotamian State Force and the Politics of Power (Aftermath and Legacy of Sumer)
The “Atheist-Humanist-Leftist Revolutionaries”
Cory Johnston ☭ Ⓐ Atheist Leftist @Skepticallefty & I (Damien Marie AtHope) @AthopeMarie (my YouTube & related blog) are working jointly in atheist, antitheist, antireligionist, antifascist, anarchist, socialist, and humanist endeavors in our videos together, generally, every other Saturday.
Why Does Power Bring Responsibility?
Think, how often is it the powerless that start wars, oppress others, or commit genocide? So, I guess the question is to us all, to ask, how can power not carry responsibility in a humanity concept? I know I see the deep ethical responsibility that if there is power their must be a humanistic responsibility of ethical and empathic stewardship of that power. Will I be brave enough to be kind? Will I possess enough courage to be compassionate? Will my valor reach its height of empathy? I as everyone, earns our justified respect by our actions, that are good, ethical, just, protecting, and kind. Do I have enough self-respect to put my love for humanity’s flushing, over being brought down by some of its bad actors? May we all be the ones doing good actions in the world, to help human flourishing.
I create the world I want to live in, striving for flourishing. Which is not a place but a positive potential involvement and promotion; a life of humanist goal precision. To master oneself, also means mastering positive prosocial behaviors needed for human flourishing. I may have lost a god myth as an atheist, but I am happy to tell you, my friend, it is exactly because of that, leaving the mental terrorizer, god belief, that I truly regained my connected ethical as well as kind humanity.
Cory and I will talk about prehistory and theism, addressing the relevance to atheism, anarchism, and socialism.
At the same time as the rise of the male god, 7,000 years ago, there was also the very time there was the rise of violence, war, and clans to kingdoms, then empires, then states. It is all connected back to 7,000 years ago, and it moved across the world.
Cory Johnston: https://damienmarieathope.com/2021/04/cory-johnston-mind-of-a-skeptical-leftist/?v=32aec8db952d
The Mind of a Skeptical Leftist (YouTube)
Cory Johnston: Mind of a Skeptical Leftist @Skepticallefty
The Mind of a Skeptical Leftist By Cory Johnston: “Promoting critical thinking, social justice, and left-wing politics by covering current events and talking to a variety of people. Cory Johnston has been thoughtfully talking to people and attempting to promote critical thinking, social justice, and left-wing politics.” http://anchor.fm/skepticalleft
Cory needs our support. We rise by helping each other.
Cory Johnston ☭ Ⓐ @Skepticallefty Evidence-based atheist leftist (he/him) Producer, host, and co-host of 4 podcasts @skeptarchy @skpoliticspod and @AthopeMarie
Damien Marie AtHope (“At Hope”) Axiological Atheist, Anti-theist, Anti-religionist, Secular Humanist. Rationalist, Writer, Artist, Poet, Philosopher, Advocate, Activist, Psychology, and Armchair Archaeology/Anthropology/Historian.
Damien is interested in: Freedom, Liberty, Justice, Equality, Ethics, Humanism, Science, Atheism, Antiteism, Antireligionism, Ignosticism, Left-Libertarianism, Anarchism, Socialism, Mutualism, Axiology, Metaphysics, LGBTQI, Philosophy, Advocacy, Activism, Mental Health, Psychology, Archaeology, Social Work, Sexual Rights, Marriage Rights, Woman’s Rights, Gender Rights, Child Rights, Secular Rights, Race Equality, Ageism/Disability Equality, Etc. And a far-leftist, “Anarcho-Humanist.”
I am not a good fit in the atheist movement that is mostly pro-capitalist, I am anti-capitalist. Mostly pro-skeptic, I am a rationalist not valuing skepticism. Mostly pro-agnostic, I am anti-agnostic. Mostly limited to anti-Abrahamic religions, I am an anti-religionist.
To me, the “male god” seems to have either emerged or become prominent around 7,000 years ago, whereas the now favored monotheism “male god” is more like 4,000 years ago or so. To me, the “female goddess” seems to have either emerged or become prominent around 11,000-10,000 years ago or so, losing the majority of its once prominence around 2,000 years ago due largely to the now favored monotheism “male god” that grow in prominence after 4,000 years ago or so.
My Thought on the Evolution of Gods?
Animal protector deities from old totems/spirit animal beliefs come first to me, 13,000/12,000 years ago, then women as deities 11,000/10,000 years ago, then male gods around 7,000/8,000 years ago. Moralistic gods around 5,000/4,000 years ago, and monotheistic gods around 4,000/3,000 years ago.
To me, animal gods were likely first related to totemism animals around 13,000 to 12,000 years ago or older. Female as goddesses was next to me, 11,000 to 10,000 years ago or so with the emergence of agriculture. Then male gods come about 8,000 to 7,000 years ago with clan wars. Many monotheism-themed religions started in henotheism, emerging out of polytheism/paganism.
Damien Marie AtHope (Said as “At” “Hope”)/(Autodidact Polymath but not good at math):
Axiological Atheist, Anti-theist, Anti-religionist, Secular Humanist, Rationalist, Writer, Artist, Jeweler, Poet, “autodidact” Philosopher, schooled in Psychology, and “autodidact” Armchair Archaeology/Anthropology/Pre-Historian (Knowledgeable in the range of: 1 million to 5,000/4,000 years ago). I am an anarchist socialist politically. Reasons for or Types of Atheism
My Website, My Blog, & Short-writing or Quotes, My YouTube, Twitter: @AthopeMarie, and My Email: damien.marie.athope@gmail.com